Here, Acknowledge your sorry Ass

Feeling all Tough my friend?

Let me Introduce you to this funny looking Earthling.


A Non-Vertibrate of size 0.5 mm, His name is Tardigrade, Eight Legged water dwelling species, this tiny little fucker has survived all the 5 mass extinctions that have occurred on earth, namingly Cretaceous Extinction, Triassic Extinction, Permian Extinction, Late Devonian Extinction, Ordovician Extinction each of these extinctions mass murdered 100 thousands of species, almost anything living they could possibly come by lasting for a period of 20-30 million years ruffly giving birth to conditions so harsh for survival, existence of life at its basic was a Chuck Norris thing until millions of years passed on as the extinction came to a halt and the environment resurrected making it all life friendly however this fat motherfucker couldn’t care less about any of that and survived it all like it were a poorly cracked tushy joke, BELIEVE ME.


Did you know scientists once decided to throw this animal into outer space to study its viability at survival in complete nothingness where there is no air, exposed to lethal solar radiations, complete vacuum with extreme low pressures and pressures as wicked as 6000 pa, what happens next?, these homies decided it was a nice time to have sex and make cute little space babies..!


P.S:  do you know what that 6000 pa implies?? it is 6 times the pressure of water in the earth’s most deepest trench, The Mariana Trench.

It can travel Naked in Intense Radiation of Space and will return unscathed


Still think you are the Greatest Creation of God? Let me tell you that these invincible motherfuckers are so tuff, they can survive temperature as high as 450 K and as low as -270* C and can go without a single drop of Water for 30 years straight, they’ve lived on this earth for about half a billion years now and shall probably outlive the last sorry ass human to ever exist currently busy architecting his own Graveyard a.k.a the 6th Mass Extinction.




The name Tardigrada means “slow walker” and was given by Lazzaro Spallanzani in 1776. The name water bear comes from the way they walk, reminiscent of a bear’s gait. The biggest adults may reach a body length of 1.5 mm (0.059 in), the smallest below 0.1 mm. Newly hatched tardigrades may be smaller than 0.05 mm.

what you do now my friend is put that haughty self absorbed personality of yours aside and thank mother earth for all that she has provided you to make it out here.



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